Paintball doesn’t actually hurt that much. SAID NO ONE EVER.
In grave danger…
I have long vowed to never to participate in such a ridiculous ‘game’. Paying good money for high levels of pain infliction is a sentiment I’ve never understood.
However, my good friend and fellow blogger, Abi Rule aka A Country Lady, is a little bit hardcore in the face of outdoor activity, and a little bit insane in the face of competition. Therefore, naturally she wanted to go paintballing for her 26th Birthday. Of course she did.
There aren’t many people that I’d go against all my instincts for, but I admire her missing screw and decided I couldn’t miss out on the ‘fun’ – after all, I get FOMO with almost anything.
And so began the inescapable nervous build up. I googled ‘worst paintball injuries’ and read articles about people rupturing their eyes or slipping and breaking their neck in a freakish course of events. I was also fortunate that my work mates took great pleasure in describing all of the worst possible outcomes and intolerable pain that would be endured.
Trolling.
I decided I couldn’t possibly do it. However gradually my curiosity and a small wager offered by Baggy, crept in and ticked the competitive side of me. And so I turned up on the day – sporting as many layers as movement would allow, and more than an element of fear.
If you haven’t tried it, I can confirm that this fear quickly turns into adrenaline, as an intense determination to win takes over. (That, or the desire to shoot your boss in the ass.) When in war, it seems your pain threshold increases, a little, and the fight or flight instinct sets in.
It’s a common lesson in life, that. The build-up is always the worst part, and the doing isn’t actually so bad. I hope I can hold on to this long enough to do some other, potentially terrifying, activities. For instance, I don’t know why anyone would throw themselves off a bridge or out of a plane. But, hell, perhaps it’s not so bad when you’re there… falling…
Absolutely not. No, just no.
But anyway, back to the game at hand. I learnt several things during this outdoor jolly and would like to impart this wisdom for the benefit of any other fearful paintball virgins.
- Be prepared for the opposition to ignore the rules, especially men. You must maintain at least 3 meters distance between you and your target when shooting. You should also stop shooting if someone ‘surrenders’ or lifts one arm to leave the game. However, all of this goes out the window during the action, and tears will be shed. As well as expletives inappropriate for the ears of brave little 10 year olds also participating.
- Secondly, these brave little 10 year olds will make you feel more than a little silly for that extensive fear expressed earlier. If they can do it….
- Don’t wear anything elaborate that will make you a primary target.
- Also, try not to shoot members of your team. Unless you have a personal vendetta – then it’s acceptable.
- If you’re a trigger happy individual you will go away with a bruised wallet. (I can definitely see the business appeal of a paintballing venture.)
- Wear gloves.
- And finally, have a game plan. Napolean didn’t win the war by running around like a headless chicken. It’s tough out there, and you need to have each other’s backs.
#girlsrule.
#girlsrule
So Baggy, I turned up, I played every game and I didn’t cry. Hand over the money my friend.
